Hard

I write mostly when I need to vent. Tonight is one of those times. I get so overwhelmed with how life is at times.It is hard when I have had a great day, then one thing changes, then another, then another, until hours of hard situations overwhelm me. Then, at 11:20 at night, I can't sleep. I can cry. I can try with all my power to be okay with how things went, but I can't change other people and their choices and trials.
I made a goal that if someone in my life is causing me pain, or frustration, or bringing drama in to my life, I need to separate myself from them. It's much easier said then done, and I guess that's why I'm 31 and finally deciding I can try and do this. I have always allowed myself to be around people who don't respect me, or that are full of drama. Now, don't get me wrong, we all have issues, and I'm there for my loved ones when they need me, but I just can't make myself fully available to long moments of negativity.
I think about how many people have made negative or backhanded comments about the fact that I go on trips/vacations frequently. (Don't worry, if you haven't done that but made a sincere comment about this, then I'm not talking about you :) ) I've come up with some clever responses, like, "I much rather have had children, but since I don't, I have vacations". The first few years of marriage, I couldn't even afford groceries, so I guess this is one of those "after the rain comes the rainbow" things. Also, I do need to get away from day to day stress, and leaving helps sometimes.
I better stop before this turns into another soap opera. I know people read this, and I'm sure there are some that think... GADZ! Stop with the negative... I should start blogging when I feel awesome... but then, I would be blogging every hour of my life. So, goodnight. I hope this hasn't completely been a waste of time... maybe, just maybe, it'll make you feel better?