In 1987 my oldest brother Jamin was on his way to school, just like every other day. But it wasn't every other day, it was instead the day he left us.
I remember waking up early that day. I went downstairs and ate breakfast with him. I kissed him goodbye and told him I love him. (I'm so grateful for that.) he then started to walk across the street and that is when a man hit him and killed him with his truck.
I remember the knocking of the door. I opened it to find Officer Heisler and his partner there. He asked me if my Mom was home. I smiled and told him to come in. My Mom promptly told me to go upstairs. I didn't. I stayed next to the stairs just barely away from her view. That's when I heard the words, "Jamin was hit by a car". I then saw my Mom leave.
I was 7 years old and didn't really know what was going to happen. I ran up the rest of the stairs and woke my 3 sisters up. We went downstairs and my oldest sister, Stephanie, led us in singing, "I Am a Child of God", and "Families Can Be Together Forever". Then she prayed. I remember her asking that he would be okay.
Time didn't make sense. I don't know how much time went by, but I remember my Mom coming home and telling us he was gone. I understood her right away. This was the beginning of a very long, hard journey of finding peace.
That same day, across the country, in a big city called Miami, Alvaro was celebrating his 17th birthday. It would take another 12 years before I met him. Now, all these years later, I can think about his birthday and feel happiness the whole day and remember Jamin without feeling complete sorrow.
I know that I'll see him again, and I know he's watching me and helping me out when I need him. I can't help but to think that he had something to do with me having the person that I would spent eternity with, have his birthday be on a day that brought me such sorrow for so long.
Alvaro has so many good qualities and has such a big heart. He has brought me such joy and happiness. I feel whole.
I will always miss Jamin, but I feel so blessed to have the day that brought such sadness be the day that my sweetheart celebrates his birth.
3 comments:
Very thoughtful post. I remember that day and not totally understanding but feeling so so sad about it. I still think about that day when I see kids waiting at the bus stop on that street.
Thinking of you today and please know I love you!
That was so sweet, and just about brought tears to my eyes (I'm at work, so I had to hold back). That was very eloquently said, Tiff. Can't wait to see you soon.
That was powerful and beautiful, Tiffie, even if I know what happed to Jamin and on which day. I love you, my sweetheart, and I'm so glad that we can share this day together forever.
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